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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29849628">I'D GIVE YOU MY LUNGS SO YOU COULD BREATHE.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/orpheusaki/pseuds/orpheusaki'>orpheusaki</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Minecraft (Video Game)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Hopeful Ending, Family Dynamic AU, Forgiveness, Gen, Let Tommy pass in peace, Not Canon Compliant, Techno's apology, Tommy's goodbye</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-04</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-15 23:21:03</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Major Character Death</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,856</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29849628</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/orpheusaki/pseuds/orpheusaki</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>"You were supposed to die like a hero, Tommy," Techno chokes out familiar words angrily, though all of this frustration is aimed at everyone but Tommy, "You weren't — this isn't what —"</p><p>Tommy grins cheekily, though the bottom of his lip trembles, "We all die eventually, Mr Blood God. Even people like you."</p><p>The teenager's body begins to glow as he shakes with laughter under the moonlight, hands and bare feet a ghostly white. The more Techno looks at his brother floating slightly above the ground, his toes tickling the grass and alliums, the more he realises that he can see straight through the boy. He can see the stars littering Tommy's chest.</p><p>Or;</p><p>Before Tommy passes on, he stops to say goodbye to Techno — amongst other things.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Technoblade &amp; TommyInnit (Video Blogging RPF)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>8</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>301</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>I'D GIVE YOU MY LUNGS SO YOU COULD BREATHE.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>TW blood (NOT violent/gory)<br/>title is from the song 'Brother' by Kodaline!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>
  <span>When Tommy dies, Techno is miles away; trying to escape the weight of a life that follows him with the stubbornness of a rain cloud. A life of violence and chaos: L'manberg, Pogtopia, execution, war, betrayal, war, death, </span>
  <em>
    <span>war</span>
  </em>
  <span> and —</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>A heavy burden of the dozens of deaths that litter his subconscious. A price to pay for being the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Blood God. </span>
  </em>
  <span>To be the </span>
  <em>
    <span>Blade.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He's not entirely sure when he starts feeling like this to a land he begrudgingly calls home (or the closest thing to it), hidden amongst the spruce trees and snow. Perhaps Techno had felt like this all along, exhausted by constantly being the </span>
  <em>
    <span>weapon</span>
  </em>
  <span> to a war that just never seemed to end. Anarchy and chaos were all things that were for his personal moral compass, to keep a </span>
  <em>
    <span>balance </span>
  </em>
  <span>between a life of fighting and a life of peace. But sometimes — just <em>sometimes</em>, Techno just wanted to </span>
  <em>
    <span>live. </span>
  </em>
  <span>To </span>
  <em>
    <span>breathe.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a while, maybe just a little bit, he would like to be Techno. Nothing more and nothing less.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>So he travels far off the land of his small Antarctic house, stripping Carl of his diamond horse armour and covering him with a beautiful blue and white blanket instead. He rids himself of his ridiculous signature red cape and bloodied clothes for a pearl blue coat and soft boots. Phil had made them many months ago, when the Antarctic had possibilities of growth and prosperity — when an Empire was on the cusp of beginning.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though the idea doesn't seem so appealing now, not when everyone would rather kill each other over inanimate objects and their foolish pride rather than join as one collective to flourish in equity.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had taken simple supplies on his impromptu escape from the world that seemed to despise him just as much as he despised it, some tools and some food and a few books he and Phil had found in the underground stone maze with dozens of forgotten libraries (and that strange table). Some are written in languages Techno had never even </span>
  <em>
    <span>heard </span>
  </em>
  <span>of, let alone acquire literature of; but he decides he's going to learn the ways of the ancient civilisation.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno travels for a few days through snow and savanna before he decides to settle for the remainder of the journey at a small woodland forest many miles away from anyone else. This particular forest has a certain aura about it, like it has it's own mind and consciousness. The trees sway and seem to form a path to a small opening, to show a wonderful hill littered with white and purple flowers, a small shallow stream running below it. Techno decides to stay, the grass beckoning him to lie down and the water glistening as the reds and oranges of the sky bleed into the black and navy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span> He has no time limit, other than the one that is the voices that hound at the back of his mind. They scream and shout for his return, plead and beg for him to offer a peace of mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He's discovered though, it's much easier to ignore the screams and cries when you simply cease thinking about what exists. Other than the dark night sky, the dirt and the grass and the flowers — Techno is nothing. He is but a being in a forest, his horse sat peacefully by the water down below, nothing more, nothing less.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>You can't see the stars in Dream's lands, perhaps plagued with too much smoke and soot; so Techno lays back on the evening grass, a book in his hand as the white dots in the sky watch over him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He had debated asking Phil to come with him, feeling a sense of loneliness under the incomprehensibly large sky. After all, no matter how strong and wonderous you may be, if you have wings or hooves or a heart the size of the sun, we are all insignificant mortals under the same galaxy — or as Phil would have probably said.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But Phil was already gone when Techno had decided to set off, having told him prior that he needed to check on his monuments under the water and his castles in the sky. The Blood God had left him a note just in case, not entirely sure when he'd see the Angel of Death again.</span>
</p><p> </p>
<p></p><blockquote>
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>Dear Phil,</span>
    </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>I'll be gone for a while. Not sure where I'm going, or why I'll come back — but I hope I find out why soon enough. I'll return, eventually. Please look after things while I am away.</span>
    </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>Stay safe,</span>
    </em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>
      <span>Techno.</span>
    </em>
  </p>
</blockquote><p> </p><p>
  <span>For a moment, Techno hopes he stays away for a while. As he would like to stay in this moment, for just a bit longer.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Though, the universe works in </span>
  <em>
    <span>cruel </span>
  </em>
  <span>ways.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Phew! There you are!" A voice suddenly shouts obnoxiously behind him — or, above him, right at the peak of the flowery hill. Techno's soul practically erupts from his physical being in surprise, his body jumping up to catch it as he drops his book in the haste, a small dagger hidden in his belt buckle now placed firmly in his grasp.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The world is quiet when he sees the stranger — who isn't really a stranger at all.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It's Tommy, bright blue eyes and golden tuft of hair impossibly bright in the darkness of the world, in all his glory, "You're a tough guy to find! I almost gave up!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What the…" Techno groans in exasperation, dropping his dagger, the faint </span>
  <em>
    <span>thud </span>
  </em>
  <span>of it falling onto the damp grass below him, caressed by dew drops. This does nothing but add to his confusion, "Did you — did you </span>
  <em>
    <span>follow </span>
  </em>
  <span>me?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Of course not I — well actually, I'm not sure how I got here. Flew maybe? Or teleported? It's a bit blurry on this side of the world, I'm not quite sure."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Ha?" The god asks incredulously, staring at Tommy with wide eyes. He's making less sense than usual, and <em>that's</em> saying something.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy hums, doing nothing to save Techno's growing confusion. He had travelled </span>
  <em>
    <span>days </span>
  </em>
  <span>to find this secluded flower forest, surrounded by a wall of trees and hills and yet </span>
  <em>
    <span>somehow</span>
  </em>
  <span>, here was Tommy, not even breaking a sweat. How had Techno not even sensed him approaching?</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Are you on vacation?" Tommy asks kindly and out of character, a strange naivety about his tone, "Can't blame you, wish I had one before this too but you know with me being —"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"What do you want Tommy?" Techno cuts the teenager off rather rudely, but he can't bring himself to care much when he </span>
  <em>
    <span>shouldn't even be here in the first place.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy's eyes are impossibly even </span>
  <em>
    <span>more </span>
  </em>
  <span>blue and glassy as the stars shine off of him like he's shattered glass, "Oh I don't want anything from you, Technoblade. I just wanted to say sorry. And goodbye."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Sorry?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I think this one is a little overdue," the boy mumbles bashfully as he rubs the back of his neck, looking sheepishly through his eyelashes. They look damp and have little teardrops in them, and Techno's stomach plummet straight to the ground.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Tommy…" Techno says slowly, unsure what to expect.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy ignores him and continues, "You were there when I didn't really have anyone else, but I still left you the moment the others showed up and I didn't realise how shitty that was until a few days ago… and yeah. I'm — I'm sorry."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno is speechless, thoughtless, in fact, he's not even sure if he's in his body right now, experiencing </span>
  <em>
    <span>whatever </span>
  </em>
  <span>strange hallucination this is. Something is terribly wrong, and Techno's dread only grows when a sharp blade of wind cuts up his arms and gives him goosebumps.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He shivers, but Tommy doesn't react at all. He continues to smile a little somberly as Techno glares at him sceptically.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Well then!" Tommy then announces, reaching up and stretching his arms and legs, reaching so high, higher than Techno thinks he's ever seen before. From this angle, Tommy looks like he's almost touching the stars with his fingertips. "I guess now that that's over — this is goodbye!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno's breath catches in his throat, the familiar feeling of having all that you care about ripped away returning one more, though this time much fainter, "Bye? Where are you going?"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy sighs, looking up at the sky with a small smile, eyes twinkling with the stars, "Hm, I don't know. Hopefully someplace nice, and warm with... with some old friends."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The boy then pauses, smile fading as he looks back down at Techno, looking sorry, though for whom Techno's not sure, "I think I can hear his guitar." He whispers.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Who's?" Techno says, though he somehow hears the answer before it leaves Tommy's mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Wilbur's." Tommy replies simply, swinging back and forth on his heels absentmindedly, seemingly swaying to a tune of an instrument Techno can't hear.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The realisation, for a lack of better words, completely collapses with absolutely </span>
  <em>
    <span>no mercy </span>
  </em>
  <span>after just the mere whisper of his brother's name.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"No," Techno mumbles quietly, praying his feet to move towards the smiling teenager, "No, no, </span>
  <em>
    <span>no. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Tommy!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But his feet are firmly planted on the ground, digging into the dirt to keep him there. Techno wants to cry.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy's feet aren't even touching the ground, and instead he's just swaying in the air, his feet bare and cold against the evening air.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't have any unfinished business," Tommy continues like Techno's entire being isn't shattering at the sinking feeling of understanding. "And even if  I did, I'm just — I'm just so <em>tired</em>, Techno. So... so i guess this is it for me."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He pauses briefly, laughing quietly to himself as he stares at the ground, "You never have to deal with me stealing your golden apples ever again."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno thinks he might be crying, but he can't be sure since he just feels <em>numb</em>. Two long streaks of blood stream down his face as he stares, mouth agape, </span>
  <em>
    <span>at the dead ghost of his younger brother.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"You were supposed to die like a hero Tommy," Techno chokes out familiar words angrily, though all of this frustration is aimed at everyone <em>but</em> Tommy. Anger at the world that failed him. The adults that ruined him. The dreams that escaped him. Techno feels an irrational sense of hatred <em>for himself; </em>t</span>
  <span>he brother who could never save his family, "You weren't — this isn't what —"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy grins cheekily, though the bottom of his lip trembles, "We all die eventually, Mr Blood God. Even people like you."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The teenager's body begins to glow as he shakes with laughter under the moonlight, hands and bare feet a ghostly white. The more Techno looks at his brother floating slightly above the ground, his toes tickling the grass and the alliums, the more he realises that he can see straight through the boy — he can see the stars littering Tommy's chest.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno wants to pull him back down to the ground, cover his crystal eyes and stop him from leaving, "You aren't like the rest of us, Tommy… you were so much better than us all."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Maybe," Tommy answers truthfully, "But I guess I wasn't good enough, huh? He still got me in the end."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"This can't be happening," Techno cries, his shirt stained red as Tommy watches him weep with watery eyes, "You can't leave! It wasn't your time to go!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The words are so familiar to Tommy, that he can't stop himself when the clear tears drop from his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't blame you for anything Techno," he shakily confesses, not wiping his face as tears damp his cheeks, "Everything you did was because you had seen yourself being wronged. And I — I don't forgive you, for taking away the only home I ever really knew, but I — but I want you to know that I don't blame you. I'm sorry that you've always been alone, and I'm sorry I could never be the family you needed."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"</span>
  <em>
    <span>Stop,</span>
  </em>
  <span>" Techno pleads, knees buckling, "Stop it please. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I'm <em>sorry Tommy.</em>"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy smiles, and for one frightful moment, Techno thinks he might leave, right when the words he had kept locked away in a part of his mind he never dared pondered on. But he can't. <em>Not now.</em></span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry I never saved you when you were alone," Techno cries out, his face burning and throat threatening to close with every word, "I'm sorry I let them exile you when the only reason that nation existed was because of <em>you. </em>I'm sorry I let my pride get in the way of your happiness. I'm sorry I never saw how much you were wilting away. I'm sorry that you never got to be a <em>kid</em>."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>Tommy watches silently as his strong, revered and stoic brother completely crumbles apart. H<span>e watches the Blood God shake and cry as thick red and brown pools onto the ground, staining the grass red.</span></p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I'm sorry I wasn't there to save you," Techno whispers, voice raspy as he pushes the words out his dry mouth.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And that's the breaking point.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"I don't want to go," the boy, the child, </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy </span>
  </em>
  <span>finally whispers painfully, and Techno can hear every word so clearly it makes his eyes </span>
  <em>
    <span>burn</span>
  </em>
  <span>. "I really don't."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>"Tommy," Techno states, ripping his feet from the ground and pushing himself to move to the boy stood at the top of the hill. Everything aches the closer he gets, but he </span>
  <em>
    <span>must.</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy was </span>
  <em>
    <span>dead </span>
  </em>
  <span>and Techno could never help him.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy sighs, laughing at himself as he brings up a heavy hand to wipe his building tears, "Bye Techno, I hope I don't see you soon. Take your time, yeah? And tell Phil I said bye, I don't think I have the strength to find him myself."</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno's eyes widen, and he quickens his steps, running when suddenly — "Tommy!"</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Silence.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He wishes he could say Tommy erupted into a million blue butterflies and flew away into the night sky, and he wishes he could say he saw Tommy's smile fade away into dandelion fuzz and bright lights as he passed on — but he couldn't. Techno drops to the ground in a mix of shock and horror as Tommy completely disappears right before his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno wasn't sure if he blinked, but one moment Tommy was there — and then he wasn't. Not a trace to even suggest he had been there in the first place.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Blood falls from Techno's eyes like fresh wounds, his whole being shaking in depleting adrenaline as the world caves in around him. The ground seems to shiver as Techno lets the last of his anger bleed into the grass and flowers. His head pound, the silence suffocating and pressing harshly into every crevice of his mind.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>There is nothing. No voices. No air. Techno struggles to catch every breath, inhaling harshly and burning his throat.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But oh, oh how he wished he wasn't breathing at all. How he wished Tommy was able to wake up the next morning and enjoy the flowers and the </span>
  <em>
    <span>stars </span>
  </em>
  <span>instead of him</span>
  <em>
    <span>. </span>
  </em>
  <span>How he wished Tommy was breathing. That he was </span>
  <em>
    <span>alive. </span>
  </em>
  <span>Techno would give Tommy his skin and bones, his heart and </span>
  <em>
    <span>lungs </span>
  </em>
  <span>if it meant he could breathe once more.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>The empty feeling of nothingness continues to eat away at Techno's soul the more he sits in his own bloody tears and hazardous breathing. Chest heaving painfully and back aching. It's like when you've read a wonderful story, one of twists and turns and unexpected plots, a story that indulges you in profound ways. A story that brings out the best and the worst in you, that drags you deeper and deeper into the words and pages —</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>But then the end of the story is incomplete. Pages forcefully ripped. The smell of burnt paper embedded into the leather casing of the book, the story forever locked in time.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Tommy was the story.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Through blurry vision and a roaring vengeance for </span>
  <em>
    <span>revenge</span>
  </em>
  <span>; Techno notices a flower that seems out of place in the sea of lilacs and whites, one that wasn't there before. Or if it was, then Techno had only realised it now. A single, beautiful, brightly coloured poppy in the spot where Tommy had vanished. Red like blood. Red like </span>
  <em>
    <span>Tommy.</span>
  </em>
  <span> Fiery and hopeful and so impossibly strong for it's small stature.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>It was so daringly alive.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Techno leaves it there, doesn't touch it or even go near it as he wipes his face slowly, smearing blood on his hands and cheeks. He pushes himself off the ground and stares up at the stars for one last time, taking in everything. At least Tommy got to see the stars before he passed on. Techno stares up at the same sky for a long time, wanting to see everything Tommy saw before the light finally vanished in his eyes.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>He doesn't sleep that night.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>For the following morning, Techno would return to the life filled with rage and corruptions and hatred and death and </span>
  <em>
    <span>war —</span>
  </em>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>And make them </span>
  <em>
    <span>all pay</span>
  </em>
  <span> for the death of Tommy.</span>
</p><p> </p><p>
  <span>Make <em>him</em> pay.</span>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>big thank u to my good friend muno for beta reading this !! i wrote it at around 2am yesterday and, well, you can see the type of mood i was in. hurt/comfort is more of my thing — but this was definitely a piece i loved writing. sobs</p><p>come find me on <a href="https://twitter.com/orpheusaki?s=09">twitter</a> &lt;3</p><p>edit: FOR FUCKS SAKE I WAS EDITING THIS AND TOMMY WENT LIVE AND NOW HE'S ALIVE AGAIN SO NO THIS IS NOT CANON ANYMORE UGH I WAS TOO SLOW</p></blockquote></div></div>
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